To all of you who were expecting Renata’s blog this week- this is Mike#80! Yes, I am the lucky guy, who eventually won her heart. Renata asked me to fill in for her this time and write our lives from my perspective, to show a male perspective and come up with a subject I want to share with her readers. Well, at our book tour there is always this question I am being asked…

    The readers of “Around Seattle in 80 Dates” want to know how does a man and husband feel when reading or hearing stories about his wife’s former boyfriends…

    It is a very good question- how do I actually feel about it? As a regular red-blooded American man, my first reaction is of jealousy. It is not easy to imagine my wife with someone else and of course my mind is running in overdrive imagining all the details, comparing myself to all those interesting guys. After all I’m not in charge of some major security, nor am I a former Marine general… And yes, there were also sexy details in the book, hot dates. Difficult to measure up when a daily life takes its toll and I am 55+! Even this + is slowly turning into ++… So yes, it is not easy to be married to a gorgeous woman who was and still is very popular, outgoing, sexy, who does have an impact on many men we run into.  It is a familiar occurrence, when we go out, that guys stop, talk to her, hug her. Once, we were at a popular Seattle club, a guy approached us, kneed in front of me and commenced to kiss my hand congratulating me for being married to this extraordinary woman! Mixed feelings to say at least…

    How do I handle it as a man and husband? Well I have two choices: I can succumb to my jealousy, be insecure about it and suggest to Renata to step back. Knowing her she would. Our marriage and I are very important to her and she would not have a problem to oblige me. But then, what is my role as a husband, man and lover? Is it just the protection of my feelings or is it also to make sure that the woman of my life is happy and fulfilled and what is the emotional cost of such an action? I believe what it really boils down to is how comfortable are you in your marriage and also, how comfortable are you in your own skin…  If you are comfortable and trustful enough, then, I suggest, you step back and enjoy the ride and let the woman of your life be herself.

    It is important for me to realize, that it is me Renata choose from her 80 dates and it is me she wants to share her life with.  Such realization really changed a lot in my life. Now I really can have a lot of fun going out and seeing her popularity with people! I can also see how happy she is being able to be herself, to go out and just have fun. This threat of her character was, after all, one of the main reasons I choose her over other women. There is also an additional benefit to letting Renata be Renata- after a fun night out with friends we go home together…